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Monster Media 1996 #15
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Monster Media Number 15 (Monster Media)(July 1996).ISO
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INSULTS.DOC
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1994-04-22
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98 lines
TOMMY'S INSULTS (C) COPYRIGHT 1987 BY TOMMY'S TOYS
P. O. BOX 11261, DENVER, CO 80211 USA. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
CATALOG #87-092-1A
INSTRUCTIONS:
IN OUTER SPACE, WHERE WE COME FROM, THERE IS AN OLD ALIEN PASTIME OF TRADING
INSULTS. THIS PROGRAM SIMULATES OUR SPACE HELMET INSULT GENERATORS, AND
INTRODUCES YOU EARTHLINGS TO THE WORLD OF MANNERS. IF YOU FIND IT INSULTING,
IT IS WORKING; IF YOU GET A GOOD LAUGH OUT OF IT TOO, WHAT A DEAL. REMEMBER
THAT IT IS ALL IN FUN.
TO OPERATE:
USE THE UP AND DOWN ARROW KEYS ON THE NUMERIC KEYPAD TO INCREASE AND DECREASE
(RESPECTIVELY) THE SPEED OF INSULT GENERATION.
USE FUNCTION KEYS F9 AND F10 TO CONTROL THE BACKGROUND AND BORDER COLORS,
RESPECTIVELY.
TO FREEZE AND UNFREEZE THE INSULT SCREEN, USE THE SPACE BAR.
TO DISPLAY THESE INSTRUCTIONS: HIT FUNCTION KEY F5.
COVOX SPEECH THING:
THIS TOY IS PROGRAMMED TO DRIVE THE COVOX SPEECH THING (TM) WITH THE FIRST
BYTE SMOOTHTALKER (TM) SOFTWARE INSTALLED. INSULTS ARE MADE TO BE HEARD AS
WELL AS READ, NOW AREN'T THEY? (BOTH AVAILABLE FROM COVOX, INC., 975 CONGER
ST., EUGENE, OR 97402).
IF THE SPEECH UNIT IS NOT INSTALLED, THE PROGRAM OPERATES ANYWAY.
WE DRIVE THE UNIT DIRECTLY WITH THE ENGLISH PHRASE, SO IF THE PRONUNCIATION
IS A LITTLE OFF, BLAME THEM NOT US (COMPARED TO THEIRS, OUR ACCENTS WOULD
REALLY GIVE YOU FITS).
SOUND EFFECTS CONTROL:
FUNCTION KEY F1 CONTROLS THE SOUND EFFECTS. HITTING IT REPEATEDLY CAUSES THE
PROGRAM TO ALTERNATE BETWEEN THE FOLLOWING 3 MODES:
1. COVOX SPEECH SYNTHESIZER
2. BACKGROUND MUSIC
3. MUTE
IF THE SPEECH UNIT IS NOT INSTALLED, F1 WILL ONLY TOGGLE BETWEEN MODES 2 AND
3.
DATA FILE:
THE FILE "INSULTS.DAT" (ON THE DEFAULT DOS DIRECTORY PATH) IS READ IN BY THE
PROGRAM TO SUPPLEMENT ITS INSULT VOLCABULARY. THE FORMAT OF EACH LINE IS:
ADJECTIVE,NOUN,ADJECTIVE,NOUN
WHERE THE LINE BEGINS IN COLUMN 1 AND CONTAINS NO BLANKS. IF YOU LEAVE A
KEYWORD OUT, LEAVE THE COMMA IN, E.G.:
ADJECTIVE,,,
,,,NOUN
,NOUN,ADJECTIVE,
THESE WORDS WILL BE ADDED TO THE 4 INDEPENDENT DICTIONARIES, AND USED IN THE
TEMPLATE: "YOU <ADJECTIVE> <NOUN> OF <ADJECTIVE> <NOUN>."
A LINE BEGINNING WITH AN ASTERISK (*) IN COLUMN 1 IS IGNORED AND YOU CAN USE
IT AS A COMMENT TO YOURSELF.
STARTUP SCREEN:
WHEN THE PROGRAM STARTS UP, THE NUMBER OF PHRASES IN EACH OF THE 4 INSULT
DICTIONARIES IS DISPLAYED ON THE SCREEN, ALONG WITH THE PRODUCT OF THE NUMBER
OF PHRASES, SO YOU KNOW THE MAXIMUM NUMBER OF DIFFERENT INSULTS THAT WILL BE
GENERATED IF YOU WAIT LONG ENOUGH.
THE TOP NUMBERS ARE THE MAXIMUM DICTIONARY SIZES, WHICH CANNOT BE CHANGED.
NOTE THAT THE PROGRAM READS IN ITS OWN UNCHANGEABLE INTERNAL DATA BASE FIRST,
THEN READS IN THE DATA FROM THE DATA FILE. TO FORGET ABOUT THE INTERNAL DATA
BASE, USE THE "F" COMMAND LINE PARAMETER DESCRIBED BELOW.
COMMAND LINE PARAMETERS:
M FORCE MONO DISPLAY MODE
C FORCE COLOR DISPLAY MODE
F FORGET ABOUT INTERNAL DATA BASE. (NOTE: IF YOU SPECIFY THIS PARAMETER
THEN SUPPLY AN EMPTY DATA FILE, THE PROGRAM WILL READ IN ITS OWN
INTERNAL DATA BASE ANYWAY).
EXAMPLE: >INSULTS MF
----------------------
DID YOU LIKE THIS TOY?
DON'T FORGET TO TRY OUR GOBS OF OTHER NEAT LOW-PRICED ($3 TO $5) TOYS AND
GAMES FOR THE IBM PC AND COMPATIBLES, DESIGNED BY ALIENS FROM OUTER SPACE FOR
EARTH KIDS ALL AGES. OUR 5.25 INCH (360KB) OR 3.5 INCH (720KB) DEMO DISK,
CONTAINING AN ELECTRONIC TOY CATALOG AND OTHER GOODIES, IS ONLY $2 TO ANY
U.S. ADDRESS, $3 OUTSIDE U.S. (U.S FUNDS ONLY OR CHECK DRAWN ON U.S. BANK).
IF YOUR PC BORES YOU WRITE US NOW.
TOMMY'S TOYS, P.O. BOX 11261, DENVER, CO 80211 USA.
HAVE FUN!